I just started watching an episode of without a trace and realised it was skipping, thus making me unaware of some important context, thus making me confused about what is going on and where the missing person is!
Then I realised what a neat metaphor this is to life,if you skip ahead you miss out, and worst
of all you don't know where you are or where you meant to be going.
I tend to skip ahead, or try to at the earliest opportunity but I tend to end up failing big style. What i don't like taking is baby steps, I never see the point until it is too late. maybe it is just that I think I should be able to handle going full throttle without the need of a brake and crash mat. This is what 'happy, normal and carefree' people can do right? Problem is... I can't do this, and not really sure I ever will be able to.
So these are the options I generally take a) a don't go at all in fear of failure (this fear is overwhelming) or b) or I will go a million miles an hour and then crash and burn at the first sign of trouble. This is the option I would like to take - going at a steady speed, probably just over the speed limit and achieve to my potential, if I gain happiness, love and some resemblance of normality along the way, that would be just lovely.
All the times I have dived right into a challenge, I meet a snake and slide down the path of darkness. all the time I do this, I miss out on learning about life and finding ways of coping with it. I hate that I do this, because now i am clueless, I've missed some context and don't know how to fill the gaps.
I'm going to have to start again, and this time take one step at a time, if I cant do this, I am never going to accept what I deserve, I'm never going to leave my black cloud behind.
If anyone has any ideas of how to do this, please let me know!
Thanks
LuckyA247 xx
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